The Intensive Art

There have been a lot of ups and downs in my first year in the ICU. My intention was to thoroughly document every incident in my blog. It didn’t work. I found myself struggling with ICU nursing and nursing in general. My great blog had been decimated through lack of posts and interest from this here writer.

A year later (well, ten and a half months), I find myself looking to write again. I am ready to start putting thoughts onto paper regularly again. But this time, I seek simplicity and cleanliness, rather than clutter and flashiness. It is a fresh start (although the archives will reveal my blogging baggage), meant to show the maturity of a nurse that has finished his starting years as a nurse and has landed comfortable on his feet.

It is meant to also show the maturity of a blogger that has “done it all,” from devastating angstful “dear diary” writing, to attempts at professionalism, from striving for popularity, to panicking about just how visible, and therefore vulnerable, blogging makes him feel. So…

******

I’m a sucker for a long term blog theme; like a television story arc that lasts a season–finding resolution in the last episode of the year. My theme is indefinite, finding its end whenever, wherever, and however it’s ready. Much like the way my “new ICU nurse” theme found its end after only a couple months. Or, perhaps if we’re sticking to the television theme, it was canceled due to irreconcilable differences amongst its staff of one.

This time I’m seeking balance. My nursing career has seemed very one-sided as of late, focusing purely on the science of nursing. Each day, I can be found studying graphs, tables, and lists of scientific concepts. An there’s always the hands-on technical learning: Jugular venous bulbs, PA catheters, Oscillators, CRRT, cool guards. There’s always a new machine to master.

And one can never forget the endless parade of critical care medications to absorb as religion.

What’s missing is the Art of Nursing. WAIT! Don’t groan and run away, fearful of a nursing school style rant about some random psychosocial aspect of nursing. Instead, I’m going to make this very simple.

When I think of art, I think of paintings. I love Jan Van Eyck, Picasso, Monet, and Dali. These are all masters of the art of painting. But none of them is like the other, they are so very different in style and form. They are creators of entire complex styles of art.

Masters of the art of nursing are also complex. They all have their own style and way of nursing. They are all distinct in the way that they enact their role. You see, the art of nursing is what makes us different from each other as nurses. Otherwise, we would all just look and act like robotic drones.

Artful nursing is what lives between the lines and pages of our policies and procedures. It is the magic and mystery that lives invisibly between the graphs and diagrams within our scientific text books.

The art of nursing is finding a way to connect two tubes together that don’t necessarily belong together–but absolutely need to be together. It’s the out-manipulating a manipulative patient. It’s the hours spend washing the blood out of a trauma patient’s hair and brushing it until it shines. To one nurse, it is the micromanagement of every last detail–leaving nothing out, and to another it is seeing the big picture and knowing when to let go of the details.

My favorite vision of the nurse as an artist is literally as an artist. The bedside is our canvass and our patient is our medium. Some nights we spend hours positioning body parts, applying pillows in a very specific way, folding the blanket perfectly, positioning the IV poles at just the right angle, Organizing bedside tables and work stations, washing patients and applying creams and ointments to create the sight and smell of perfection. When finished, the patient looks peaceful, quiet, and absolutely presentable–ready for the beauty of life or the restfulness of death. Or, as in the ICU’s case, something in between the two.

As I see it, the art of nursing happens when the science of nursing doesn’t have an answer for how we do our jobs. However, It does rely on a strong foundation of the science of nursing so that we may “let go” of the black and white that rules our career and threatens to demoralize and overwhelm.

******

This art of nursing is where I’m finding peace in my career. When my creative energies are put to the task, I feel a rush of joy that re-energizes my soul. This is where the power of nursing is born and thrives.

So, here’s to my new theme! May it bring these same feelings of joy and creativity to my website.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 9th, 2009 at 02:51 and is filed under Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.